


Candles and Scented Oils

by Showmeheaven



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Former friends to lovers, M/M, Miscommunication, Physical therapist!Even, Resolved Sexual Tension, Smut, Soccer player!Isak, massage au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 03:15:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16441949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Showmeheaven/pseuds/Showmeheaven
Summary: “I guess you know the drill,” Even says. “Clothes on the chair and lay down under the towel, I’ll come back in a few minutes.”The moment the door closes behind him Isak throws his head back and lets out part of the groan he’s been suppressing since he entered the room. He does know the drill. He knows exactly how this is going to go down. He’s never been able to think straight when Even puts his hands on him, after all.





	Candles and Scented Oils

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DickAnderton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DickAnderton/gifts).



> Hi! So this is my first fanfiction. I'm super nervous and excited. I started writing another story over a year ago and it's kicking my ass, so I put it on hold and just wanted to finish something. And this is what became of it.  
> I hope you like it.
> 
> I need to thank my friend DickAnderton for betaing this for me. And for being the best cheerleader I could have asked for.  
> Thank you so much for helping me make this happen, I honestly don't think it would have if you hadn't been there to motivate me a long the way.  
> You're one of my best friends and I'm so happy to have you in my life. So this is for you <3

Isak hates himself. And he hates his stupid body as he’s limping down the beige, boring corridor of the school’s gym building. His face is already heating up just anticipating what’s to come. He’s probably going to look like a full-blown tomato by the time he gets there and actually has to face him.

‘Him’ is Even.

And Even is the massage therapist for the school’s soccer team. Isak has been here exactly one time before, and it has been the most embarrassing thirty minutes of his life. Even had barely touched him before Isak had felt like he was going to combust. By the middle of the session, Isak had been stifling his moans as Even’s arms and hands and fingers had worked their magic on the back of his right thigh. He had pushed him down and forward on the table and put the most delicious pressure on his straining dick each time he had stroked upward from his knee to his butt.

It had been both amazingly hot and excruciatingly embarrassing at the same time.

It is now six months later and Isak still holds out hope that Even hasn’t noticed how he had been mere seconds away from coming all over himself for most of the session. However, he finds it highly unlikely as he had to walk out of there with the most painful boner known to man in just his sweatpants.

***

“Hi Isak! It’s been a while.”

Yep. Tomato.

“Yeah,” Isak mumbles, ignoring Even’s jolly attitude and shrugging his jacket off as he enters the room of which he has had both nightmares and the most incredible wet dreams.

It should probably be mentioned that Even is gorgeous. He is tall and blond and has the most piercing blue eyes imaginable. His hands are fucking huge, and they had been so soft when they had touched Isak’s skin. If that were all of it, Isak would probably have managed to control himself a little better, but he’s also the nicest, funniest and most generous person Isak has ever known. And on top of that, he doesn’t even have the decency to wear a uniform like the rest of the team staff. Just like the last time Isak was there, he just walks around all casual in his jeans that are just loose enough to be appropriate and a t-shirt that sometimes rides up high enough for Isak to catch a glimpse of his blond happy trail if he so much as lifts his arms. Basically, Isak has had a crush on him ever since he first saw him.

“Your coach messaged me that your hamstring is acting up again?” Even continues and sits down at his desk, presumably looking up Isak’s file on his computer.

Isak makes a ‘mm’ sound as he toes off his shoes by the coat rack. He knows what Even is going to say next when he hears him let out a small gasp behind him.

“You never came back after last time? Isak, hamstring sprains are serious! They need to be worked on regularly!”

Even has now turned towards him in his chair and although he sounds like he’s scolding Isak, he looks more like Isak stole his puppy.

It’s true, Even had scheduled another appointment for him a week after the last one. An appointment which Isak had obviously canceled at the last minute and promised to reschedule when he found the time. Like that was ever going to happen, honestly.

Even though Isak knew it was both pathetic and unreasonable, he had still been a little bit hurt by the fact that Even never reached out to him after that. 

“Well, it felt fine. I didn’t see the need for it,” is Isak’s lame excuse. To which Even gives him an exasperated stare.

And it had felt fine. A little sore, but nothing Isak couldn’t handle. The problem is that it hadn’t gotten better like he had expected it to. It had stayed like that until Isak had stopped noticing it and it had just became a part of his body. Until yesterday, when he’d ended up in a tackle that had pulled on his muscle hard enough for it to become noticeable again. A lot more noticeable, that is.

“Hopefully you do now,” Even says as he turns back to the computer and starts typing something Isak is never going to know.

***

They used to hang out, is the thing. Back when Even was still on the team before he graduated almost two years ago. They would go to McDonalds after practice, usually the whole team, or whoever had the time or could be bothered. Or they’d go to someone’s house and hang out, maybe play FIFA if they were in the mood. And Isak and Even were always the last ones to leave.

Isak always lingered as long as he could because he had reasons. Reasons that made him not want to go home and face the disaster that was his family. What Even’s reasons were, he doesn’t know. But they always ended up walking together to the nearest tram stop.

Isak lived for those moments alone with Even. He loved hearing about his plans for the future,  _ I’m applying to film school, Isak. I want to be a director _ and his passion for movies,  _ Romeo + Juliet is the best movie of all time, Isak. You have to watch it. _ (Isak had rented the movie that same night and cried at the end.)

One time Even invited him over to his house after and they ended up smoking weed on his window sill for hours, talking and laughing and getting to know each other. Later, Even made them cheese toasties with the most ridiculous spices on top. They tasted awful, but Isak ate them anyway.

It was one of the best days in Isak’s life.

Until Even’s girlfriend showed up and he learned what it was like to watch your crush kiss someone else.

***

“I guess you know the drill,” Even says as he gets out of his chair with a sigh. “Clothes on the chair and lay down under the towel, I’ll come back in a few minutes.”

The moment the door closes behind him Isak throws his head back and lets out part of the groan he’s been suppressing since he entered the room. He does know the drill. He knows exactly how this is going to go down.

He allows himself ten seconds of breathing into his hands before he strips in a hurry and lays down on the table, placing the towel over his ass with trembling hands.

God, how awkward would it be if Even walked in before he was ready?  _ Well, not as awkward as sporting a boner because he touches your thigh, _ a voice inside of him answers.

Fuck.

The anticipation is almost worse, Isak thinks as he’s lying there, his head resting on his hands. Just thinking back to the last time he was here has him chubbing up a bit against the table. And Even sure does take his sweet time getting back.

A few minutes later there’s a soft knock on the door and then it opens. Isak doesn’t even look up, just shifts lightly on the table, trying to determine if his position is going to hurt his inevitable boner or not.

And then the door locks.

Even locks the fucking door behind him. It is probably just procedure to prevent anyone from barging in in the middle of the session, but Isak doesn’t think that sound will ever stop playing in his head. All sorts of inappropriate images are already making themselves known there. Yeah, this is going to be just swell.

***

After ‘The Girlfriend Incident’, Isak pulled back.

He wouldn’t say he started avoiding Even, he just created some distance between them for his own protection. He started leaving when the others did and instead went over to Jonas’ place for a while. He started using a different tram stop, and sometimes even put his bike to use. He stopped living for those moments alone with the boy of his dreams and began filling his time with distractions.

He could tell Even noticed. Sometimes he’d catch him looking at him with a frown on his face. Every now and then, Isak would meet his gaze as they passed each other in the hallway between classes and he could have sworn Even’s eyes shone with something like hurt.

But he never said anything about it, and the distance only grew from there.

***

Even has put on music now. Some fucking “pling plong” shit with ocean waves in the background that’s probably meant to relax his clients.

A Client.

That’s what Isak is, he tries to remind himself as he hears Even open a bottle and then rub the content all over his hands. The sound reminds Isak of completely different things and he tries to shut it out. He wills himself to shut his ears to it, but he only manages to distract himself for a few seconds.

And then there’s the smell. Because of course Even has lit several scented candles and they all emit the same smell of lavender and some kind of citrus fruit. It matches the scent of the oil that must now be soaking his hands. It would probably be soothing if he wasn’t so busy trying to quell the images of Even rubbing those slick hands on another part of Isak’s body. Or on himself. God.

All the anticipation has made him forget to prepare for what Even’s touch would actually feel like, and he jolts embarrassingly hard when his hand touches the back of his knee.

“God! You scared me. Sorry, I should have prepared you,” Even says. And isn’t it just wonderful of him to use words like ‘prepared’ in a situation like this? “Is it okay if I begin now?”

Isak rolls his eyes.

_ Yes, Even, please, PLEASE, touch me so I can finally have that inappropriate boner I’ve been looking forward to all day. _

“S’okay.”

The first thing Isak notices when Even’s hands start stroking up his thigh, lightly at first and then adding more pressure as the oil sticks to his skin, is that it hurts a lot more this time. And it mercifully makes it easier for him to focus on something other than his fingers sliding up the inside of his thigh.

The downside is that he’s already fighting the urge to groan, which would be equally embarrassing although it wouldn’t be from pleasure this time. At least not yet.

***

At the end of the school year the team would always throw a party. Either celebrating a good season or mourning a bad one. But it would always be a send off to the graduates. And the year Even graduated was no exception to that. It was invites only, but each member of the team could invite as many people as they wanted to, so they usually ended up trashing whoever’s house they were in for the night.

The season had been okay. They didn’t win the cup but placed third. Which was respectable enough, considering the number of rookies they’d had that year.

So, the party Isak found himself at was as much to celebrate that as it was to give Even and his classmates one last bender before they went on to new and, hopefully, better things.

It was going well, Isak thought, he and Even hadn’t really spoken in months, other that at practice, and even then it had only been the bare necessities. The ache in Isak’s chest when their paths crossed had dulled into something manageable. Still, Isak maintained no illusions about being indifferent about the whole thing, so he had spent some time beforehand preparing himself for the possibility of seeing Even’s girlfriend again for the first time since ‘that night’.

He’d brought forth the images he had previously locked away of Even and his girlfriend kissing in Even’s living room and found that it didn’t hurt as much to look at them anymore. It felt like pressing against scar tissue that was still a little tender, rather than like the gaping wound it had been in the beginning. Isak was glad for it.

He felt like he had things under control and spent the evening hanging out with his friends. He remained calm when Even walked through the door, receiving cheers and pats on the back from the people he passed. He remained calm when he noticed his hand linked with another one behind him. And he remained calm, although it definitely stung a little, when he saw him kiss his girlfriend against a wall later on.

He did not remain calm, however, when Magnus dragged him into a game of spin-the-bottle a couple of hours later, and Even’s turn landed on him.

***

“Fuck!”

Even’s elbow is digging into his ass cheek and the pain is overwhelming enough that Isak can’t hold back the curse that’s been begging for release the last few minutes.

The pain disappears the second the word leaves his mouth and he’s left panting into his hands from restraining himself for too long.

“Oh my god, Isak!” Even exclaims as he lets him go and walks to the front of the table, crouching down so that his face is right in front of Isak’s. “If you’re in this much pain, why didn’t you tell me?”

Isak can’t look at him. Even has asked him several times during the session if he feels okay and if the pressure is fine. Isak has by some miracle managed to sound perfectly relaxed as he ‘mm’ed his answers, but it had started to become too much when Even had begun using his elbow instead of the base of his hand to lengthen the muscle.

Isak had tensed up immediately but managed to keep his mouth shut for the first couple of strokes. He had broken at the third one however, and now Even is crouched down in front of him, probably looking at him with that tenderness in his eyes that Isak used to love.

“Hey.” Even touches his wrist, probably to make him remove his hands from his face, and Isak flinches, but does so. Even pulls his hand back immediately at Isak’s reaction.

“Sorry,” he says calmly, looking into Isak’s eyes with a sad smile. “But you know, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”

Isak knows he means the pain in his leg, but the way it can so easily be applied to everything else that’s happened between them still catches him off guard and he ends up staring for a few seconds longer than he’d like to admit.

“Okay,” he says when he snaps out of it, laying his head back on top of his hands.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll tell you when it hurts,” Isak mumbles.

***

Isak went home that night with a fresh wound in his chest, or an old one ripped open, he couldn’t be sure which one it was. The pain felt similar, but he couldn’t tell if it hurt more or less than the last time.

Even’s bottle had landed on him and the entire circle, and the people around it, had laughed and cheered as Isak’s heart had sunk down to his stomach and released what had felt like a million butterflies at once.

Just like that, he had been right back to where he had started, before that night on Even’s window sill that had been both the best and the worst of his life. And when he had looked over and met Even’s big, blue eyes, he could have sworn he had looked almost as nervous as Isak had felt.

 

It had lasted only a second before Even had seemed to snap out of it and Isak had been able to feel all one million of his butterflies wither and die as he had watched Even reach for his glass and take a large sip instead of just kissing Isak like the bottle had demanded.

Isak still doesn’t know how he had managed to remain so calm on the outside while his insides had been in such an uproar, but he had simply leaned forward and spun the bottle for himself. He might have kissed the girl it had landed on a tiny bit more thoroughly than necessary, knowing Even was probably watching, and then he had left the party without bothering to say goodbye to his friends.

***

“Still okay?” Even asks as he runs the base of his hand upward from the back of Isak’s knee, a lot lighter now.

“Yeah,” Isak replies, although he’s not exactly sure he means it.

It’s nowhere near as painful anymore, but that doesn’t mean he’s entirely okay. The absence of pain is nice, obviously, but it also means his ability to focus on all his other senses has returned full force, which is not exactly optimal because it has his dick stirring again.

And it certainly doesn’t help that Even has been so tender with him a few moments ago. Honestly, what did that even mean?

But Isak knows what it means, he knows it’s part of who Even is because Even is a good person. He knows this. Deep down.

“You sure?” Even asks.

Isak rolls his eyes because Even has been doing this since he has picked up his work again. It’s a little hard to blame him for it since Isak spent the first fifteen minutes of the session lying about how much pain he was in, but still. It’s annoying as fuck.

“Yes, Even, I’m sure.” He knows he sounds a little exasperated but so fucking what. It’s not like Even cares what Isak says or does.

“You can go deeper, it doesn’t hurt anymore,” Isak adds because he just had an interesting thought.

Maybe if he can find a point in which it just hurts a little, or just enough to take his mind off all the other stuff, then maybe it will be okay.

But Even’s hand goes completely still right below his ass all of a sudden, his fingers basically just centimeters away from his balls. It hits Isak what he’s just said, and he immediately wishes he was dead.

“I mean-” Yeah, there’s just no way to recover from that, is there? “You know what I mean!”

But Even is laughing like Isak hasn’t heard him laugh since they were both smoking weed on his window sill. Which has fucking butterflies refilling the emptiness in his stomach.

But it’s not the same because the butterflies have already died once, and they’re afraid they’re going to die all over again, so they’re careful this time. And it makes Isak sad. It makes him feel like something has broken inside of him that can’t ever be fixed.

“Are you done?” Isak hates himself a little bit again because Even stops laughing and apologizes, and when you care about someone, you should want them to laugh as much as possible.

Right?

Maybe Isak doesn’t care that much anymore.

***

Isak didn’t see Even again after that messed up round of spin-the-bottle, and he spent the summer trying to get back to his old self again. And slowly but surely, he felt like he did.

He hung out with Jonas and Mahdi and Magnus and his other friends. He played soccer and FIFA and he went to parties and he smoked weed and he got drunk. And when the new semester started, he felt like he was on top of things again. Even wasn’t there anymore and he didn’t think about him. Out of sight out of mind, right?

During spring in his second year, Isak met a boy that he liked whose name was Petter and who had green eyes and short brown hair.

Petter took him out on dates and told him nice things like ‘I love your smile’ and ‘you have nice eyes’, and Isak liked hearing those things. He blushed when he heard them and Petter teased him for it.

When Isak kissed him for the first time, he did it softly, like he would have wanted to be kissed himself, and he found that he liked being able to make Petter blush as well.

Before long, Petter was a part of his daily life. He was there at Isak’s games and he was with him at the parties that followed. He was there at lunch and he was there between classes and he was there at Isak’s practices so that they could walk back to Petter’s place together after.

Isak liked Petter’s hair and the way Petter always kissed him when Isak ran his hand through it. He liked that Petter always wanted to give him blow jobs after games when he had scored a goal. He liked giving them back after. And he liked it when Petter told him that he loved him.

But he couldn’t say it back, and Petter didn’t like that.

***

When Even goes back to asking him if he’s okay every other minute, Isak is able to reply without clenching his teeth.

The pressure is just right now, and he can focus on the soreness he feels instead of on where Even’s hands are.

“I’m worried this is too much, Isak, are you sure you’re it’s okay?”

Right on cue. Isak just reached 100 in his head.

“It’s fine, Even, it doesn’t hurt that much.”

Even lets go of him immediately.

“But it does hurt.” Not a question this time.

“Well, yeah? But it hurts no matter what I do so-,” he hopes Even doesn’t catch the double meaning.

“Isak, I’m not supposed to hurt you!” Even nearly yells and Isak lifts his head to look at him accusingly.

_ Then why did you? _

But he doesn’t say it.

***

When news started spreading about Even being back at the start of the fall semester of his third year, Isak didn’t believe it. He refused to. He hadn’t seen or heard from him in over a year and he was doing fine, thank you very much. He did not need Even to mess his life up again.

It soon became clear, however, that the rumors were true.

When Isak’s coach introduced him as the new, temporary member of the staff who would fill in for their regular massage therapist who had left for maternity leave, there was just no way Isak could live in denial anymore.

Throughout the past year Even had taken a couple of courses in sports massage and had decided he wanted to work beside his studies. And what better place to work than with his old team?

Isak could tell relatively quickly that the anger and embarrassment he had felt at their last encounter at the party had festered inside of him and turned into something ugly and destructive.

And he felt incapable of dealing with that ugliness, so he ignored it. Along with the person it was directed at.

He managed to avoid Even for the whole semester. Even was barely around anyway, so it wasn’t that hard. Isak saw him sometimes at practice but steered clear of him as best as he could without making it obvious to everyone else that he was doing it.

That first day though, when coach had introduced Even, Even had approached him afterwards and tried to make conversation. Emphasis on ‘tried’ because Isak had immediately stated that he was busy and run off to start his warm-up.

The pain and confusion in Even’s eyes at Isak’s rough dismissal had haunted him for days. He had felt bad, and then he had felt angry about feeling bad.

And it had been then, more than a year after everything, that he had realized how everything he was feeling was of his own making.

Even had been his friend, nothing more. He had never promised Isak anything. And Isak had no legitimate reason to blame Even for any of the things that he now held against him.

Isak had fallen in love with his friend, and his friend hadn’t felt the same. It was as simple as that.

The realization didn’t change anything though. Isak still felt what he felt and avoiding Even helped him not having to deal with those feelings.

Until five months later, when a sprained hamstring left him no other choice.

***

Even doesn’t touch him again after that.

“I think we should stop for today,” he says, covering Isak’s upper thighs and ass with the towel again before he leaves the room without another word.

Isak puts his clothes back on on auto-pilot. The silence in the empty room somehow feels suffocating now and he’s already so tired of feeling like this. He needs to get out of this room.

Even comes back in as he’s putting on his shoes. Isak can’t stop himself from looking at him this time, and Even stops in his tracks when their eyes meet. Isak can’t handle it and looks back down.

“What’s going on, Isak? What just happened?”

Even’s voice sounds tired too, and it shakes a little with a vulnerability that Isak has never heard in it before.

He reaches for his jacket.

“Fuck if I know,” he replies. He’s not ready to have this conversation, doesn’t think he’ll ever be.

“Can you please drop the tough guy act and just talk to me for a minute?” Even asks carefully, but it still pisses Isak off and he scoffs.

“Who says it’s an act? Maybe it’s just me?” he mumbles as he zips up his jacket.

“It’s not, Isak, I know you.”

“You knew me, Even, there’s a difference.”

Even goes quiet and looks unbearably sad when Isak dares to glance at him again.

“What happened, Isak?”

Nope, he’s not ready. He’s not. Yet, Even takes a step closer.

“What do you even mean?”

Isak can’t. He can’t look at him. He desperately checks his pockets for his phone, his keys. What did he even bring here with him? His earphones. He’s sure they were in his jacket pocket, but now they’re not.

“Look at me.”

Isak looks around, back at the chair. Nothing. The coat rack. Nothing.

 

There! On the floor by Even’s desk.

“Hey!”

Even places both of his hands on Isak’s face and Isak really has no choice but to look at him now. When did he even get this close? Isak stops breathing.

***

He should never have gone for the overhead kick, Isak chided himself, shaking his head as he walked towards the gym building. The back of his right thigh throbs from the obvious sprain he had just inflicted upon himself.

It had probably looked cool though, and he couldn’t help but hope that someone had caught it on film. He wanted to see it for himself. It was the first time he’d managed to actually score like that and he almost felt like it was worth it.

Or, it was definitely worth the pain, but he wasn’t sure it was worth having to go see Even about it.

His coach had ordered him to go, and Isak knew he’d check with Even later about the severity of his injury. So, he had no choice, really.

He knocked on the door and waited.

The fact that this was the first time they’d be alone together in almost two years did not escape Isak. He knew this was going to be awkward. He could only hope that Even would be his usual chill self and not start asking him a bunch of questions about why he was avoiding him.

But of course Even didn’t do that. Isak really should have known. It had always been like that with him. And when Isak thought about it, Even had had the potential to make things awkward for him for a while now and had not done anything about it.

Isak had little doubt that Even knew about his feelings from back when they used to hang out. It wasn’t like Isak had ever been known for being subtle. If Even hadn’t known before, the way Isak had acted after he had learned about his girlfriend had definitely done the trick. And there had been plenty of times throughout both their friendship and their non-friendship where Even could have called him on it. But he never did.

Isak thought about this while he undressed before getting under the towel. He tried to remind himself that Even hadn’t done anything wrong here. That his anger was misplaced. That Even’s behavior when they were now forced to interact, despite Isak’s efforts to avoid it, had been brought on by himself.

Even had opened the door and been nothing but polite and friendly. Asking how he was and about his progress on the team, and of course, about his injury. Just generally being nice. Like he would with any other member of the team.

If he was in any way disappointed with Isak’s dismissal of him five months earlier, he hadn’t let it show. And it made Isak feel relieved. This was going to be fine.

It didn’t bother him that Even acted like they had never known each other. Or that his first words when he had opened the door had been “Hi! Isak, right?”. Or that he had barely even looked at him the whole time they had been talking.

Except it did.

***

A few seconds pass where Isak is unable to remain in control. He meets Even’s worried, blue eyes and feels incredibly vulnerable. Like Even can see every last bit of his soul just by looking into his eyes. He knows he looks as lost and insecure as he feels during those seconds and still he can’t bring himself to put a stop to it.

Which, when he thinks about it, is probably what Even intended with this maneuver.

“Isak. What. Is. Going. On?”

It’s too much again and Isak looks away, but Even tightens his hold around his face and forces him to look back up. His hands are still warm from rubbing Isak’s thigh. Or maybe they’re just always warm? Isak doesn’t remember. But they’re not covered in oil anymore and they feel less soft now than they did before.

“Stop,” Isak almost whispers and removes Even’s hands with his own.

Even looks defeated as Isak takes several steps away from him.

“It’s too much.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean it’s too fucking much, Even!” Isak’s voice crescendos towards the end of the sentence and he has to take a breath to calm down again. “I can’t handle this.”

“What? What can’t you handle?”

Isak is already walking towards the door, his earphones be damned. He can buy new ones. Except Even beats him there, blocking his way out by putting his hand on the knob. Isak looks at him and he can feel himself somehow conveying “really? You’re refusing to let me leave?” with his face alone.

“If you want to leave, I won’t stop you.”

Isak scoffs.

“But you clearly have some kind of problem with me, and I think now is a good time to talk about it. Unless you want to go back to ignoring me like you have been for the last two years.”

Wow, okay. Isak didn’t expect that. Even really isn’t the type to call people out and it’s kind of a shock. And with his inability to hide his emotions, Even can most likely tell. He knew Even would have thoughts or questions about why he had suddenly cut all contact with him, but he also thought it was kind of obvious why he did it, given that it had happened right after Isak had met his girlfriend.

He can feel himself looking guilty now. He never wanted to be confronted with this. Or maybe he did? Maybe part of the reason he still holds so much anger for Even is that he deep down wishes he had confronted him sooner? Maybe things would have been better? Maybe they could have at least remained friends? Even if Isak wanted more than that, maybe it would have been better to at least have Even in his life in some way? Maybe.

Isak has to close his eyes against the emotions that surface at his thoughts but it gives him some sort of relief to at least have a reason for his anger. It might not be a good reason, or even a justifiable one, but it’s still a better reason than holding a grudge against Even for two years because he chose not to kiss him in a game of spin-the-bottle.

“Isak, I know this is weird, okay? And I’m sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable. I’ve tried to treat you like I would anyone else, but it’s hard. Because you’re not anyone else to me, you never were, you know that.”

Isak loses his train of thought completely.

 

***

Isak’s frustration about Even’s casual behavior was short lived.

It was short lived because the moment Even had popped open the bottle cap and started rubbing oil all over his hands, Isak had been gone.

The only thing Isak had thought about on his way there had been how awkward it was going to be. What he would say if Even confronted him. He’d even practiced his ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ – face.

He hadn’t for a second thought about what the purpose of seeing him was. That Even was going to not only touch him, but rub oil on him. On his thigh. On his butt. Into his skin. Those large, soft, beautiful hands that Isak had spent more than his fair share of hours fantasizing about, were now actually going to touch him. With purpose.

Granted, a very professional, non-sexual, purpose, but still. It was too easy to imagine otherwise.

Even hadn’t even laid a hand on him yet, but Isak could already see where this was headed. And when fantasy met reality and Even’s hand started its first upward stroke along his thigh, Isak had no way of stopping the slight moan that escaped him. He’d held his breath in anticipation of the touch and finally feeling it was such a relief, there was no way he would have been able to keep it in.

It was mortifying. His mind was already working overtime trying to come up with a believable explanation for the sound. But Even didn’t stop. He let up the pressure a little and asked Isak if it hurt, and when Isak said no he continued like everything was normal.

It was easier to handle after that first stroke and, thankfully, Even mostly kept to the lower part of his thigh. Isak wasn’t immune though, and his dick was completely ignoring his pleas to keep calm and stay soft. It should have been uncomfortable against the slightly rough towel on the crappy massage table, but it was everything but.

Each stroke put just enough pressure on Isak’s groin that his foreskin slid down the head of his dick just a little. Had he not gotten hard from just the sound of Even rubbing his own hands together with oil, this would not have been a problem, but he had. And it was.

It almost felt teasing, in both the best and the worst way imaginable, and Isak dug his fingers into the end of the table to distract himself.

It was confusing and stressful and embarrassing and so so good, but it was still somewhat manageable. And it was absolutely nothing compared to when Even shifted his focus and started working on the upper part of his thigh.

The pressure on his groin tripled as the base of Even’s hand reached his ass and made him gasp in surprise at the intense feeling of his now almost fully exposed dickhead rubbing against the towel underneath him. Which, by the way, did not feel the slightest bit rough anymore thanks to his own precome.

Again, Even luckily assumed it was due to the pain of his injury and continued after Isak assured him he was fine. Isak instantly regretted telling him that, though. He should have just lied and said it hurt like hell because then Even might have stopped and let him collect himself a bit.

Instead, the urge to grind down into the table and chase the sensation was getting harder and harder to ignore with each passing second. Isak desperately realized that it was becoming too much to control his breathing and the low sounds he couldn’t help but make, while at the same time keep still, and oh yeah! Not come just from having someone touch his thigh.

Even wasn’t just touching his thigh, though. He was basically doing the grinding for him. He also wasn’t just ‘someone’. He was Even.

Even who used to be his friend. Who used to ride the tram with him and share his earphones with him when Isak had forgotten his own. Even whose smile used to make his insides do funny things. Who used to openly share his lunch and his dreams with Isak like they were the same thing.

He was  _ Even _ .

And Isak had been in love with him. Had fantasized about him. About his hands. About his lips. About... Other stuff.

It was all coming back now and that was the problem. Well, that and the grinding thing.

 

By some miracle, Isak still managed to remain in control of himself throughout the session. Even answering Even’s questions about the pressure and how everything felt went somewhat okay, he thought. Though, when Even left the room to let him get dressed, he entertained serious thoughts about finishing himself off before he came back.

He ended up talking himself out of it. The risk of getting caught was just too great. Instead, he got dressed and folded up the towel he’d been lying on. The wet spot he’d made on it wasn’t visible, but he didn’t want to risk Even noticing it when he removed it later.

The few minutes he had to himself weren’t enough to kill his boner. It was all too visible in his sweatpants. So Isak made sure the jacket in his hands covered his front when Even came back in to schedule another appointment for him.

Five minutes later he left with a post-it in one hand, his jacket clutched in the other, a flushed face and a dick still dying for release.

***

Everything inside of Isak is a mess and he’s unable to focus on his thoughts as they enter and leave his mind. The only constant are the words that just left Even’s mouth.  _ You’re not anyone else to me. _

The rest is just a swirl of questions he’s afraid he’ll never know the answers to. What does Even mean? Why does Isak care? And how the fuck is he already back to feeling like this after literally spending half an hour with the guy?

“What?”

Isak’s confusion is probably written all over him and he can’t even begin to think of an answer.

But Even sighs like Isak just gave him one and continues.

“I mean, we were friends, we-. I know you and-. Or knew, sorry, but then we just stopped? Or you stopped,” he actually points at Isak, emphasis on the ‘you’, “and then we just didn’t talk anymore and I-.” Even looks like he just aborted a rant that could have gone on for a while and that he was clearly getting worked up about. “What I’m saying is I know it’s weird,” he continues after a long breath, “and I’ve tried to make it not weird, but it’s not working because no matter what I do, or how I treat you, you still act like I ran over your cat with my car.”

Well, if there was ever any doubt about whether Even cared about Isak ending their friendship, it’s gone now. He’s obviously angry about it. He just hides it way better than Isak does.

“I don’t have a cat.”

 

It’s absurd, but it’s what comes out of his mouth. And for a moment it’s like he’s watching himself and this moment from outside of his body. He’d laugh at himself if Even didn’t look so disappointed with his reply.

“Not the point, I know, sorry.” Isak shakes his head in an attempt to clear it. It works, but just a little. It’s easier to concentrate when he’s not looking at Even, so he looks at his desk instead. “I just-, I don’t think I can have this conversation with you. At least not right now.”

It’s weird, being this honest with Even again. Like all the time he spent acting like a dick to make it seem like he didn’t care was a waste and he should have just done this from the beginning.

It’s the first time since that evening they spent smoking together that Isak feels like things might be okay between them again at some point. Like maybe the conversation he just referred to can actually happen. Maybe he’ll be ready.

“That’s fine, we don’t have to.“ Even’s face and body language reminds Isak of someone talking to a spooked child. Of that moment of relief when the child is finally showing signs of trust and you’re worried something you say will scare them again. “Just, please tell me what you want me to do to make this easier for you.”

He wants to continue with the honesty thing, but the jump from admitting that there is something to talk about to telling Even about the actual problem with these sessions is just too long.

But Even is practically begging, and Isak wants to at least give him something. He wants to resolve this too. He wants to stop being angry because it’s fucking exhausting. He wants to feel good about himself and not just pretend that he does. He wants to be happy.

He wants Even. And he wants Even to want him back.

All the things he wants are just too hard to say, and when he looks at Even again he seems lost. But there is hope in his eyes now and Isak put that there just by making a tiny crack in the wall around him. And that does make him feel a little bit better about himself.

He draws a breath. He makes it a big one because he just made his decision. He needs to do this. To know once and for all.

Isak walks over to him slowly, trying his best not to limp. He’s finally looking at him properly, meeting his eyes and not shying away from their intensity.

Even still looks lost, helpless even, as Isak approaches. As he crosses the line and enters the space most people consider their own.

Even looks confused for a second before Isak gets too close to really see what his face looks like anymore. That’s when Isak breaks eye contact, but only to look at Even’s lips instead. They’re so big up close, so full and tempting.

He doesn’t know what Even looks like now because those lips are all he can see. And they’re all he can think about. And there’s nothing stopping him now.

Except maybe Even himself.

“I just want to kiss you,” he whispers half a second before he does.

***

 

Isak leans in slowly, giving Even the chance to object if he wants to. But he doesn’t. So Isak gently touches Even’s lips with his own. It’s off center, almost at the corner of Even’s mouth. And he keeps them there, breathing carefully for a few seconds before pulling back, defeated by Even’s lack of response.

As their lips part, alarm bells start going off in Isak’s head. The butterflies in his stomach begin frantically searching for the emergency exit and he pulls away, already panicking about how to explain this moment of madness on his part.

But he can’t think of anything to say and the seconds drag on like hours as they both just stare at each other with shocked faces.

“I’m sorry, I-,” he starts, but he doesn’t know how to finish.

And then he doesn’t have to because Even reaches out and puts a hand on his cheek, just the one, at first. His fingers reach back into Isak’s hair while his thumb slides gently across his cheekbone. Back and forth, back and forth, as those too blue eyes bores into him.

Even doesn’t look unsure anymore, or lost, or shocked. He looks amazed. And determined. And a small gasp escapes Isak as the other hand follows and Even steps into his space this time.

Then it’s Even who leans in and presses his lips against Isak’s, and it’s not the same, not even close. Because Even doesn’t hesitate when Isak is too stunned to kiss back immediately. He doesn’t pull back because he knows what Isak wants. So he kisses Isak again and again, like he wants it just as badly, like he’s waited just as long, until Isak is able to give back with the same fervor. Until Isak’s hands circle Even’s forearms and he slowly pulls him in even closer.

 

Isak doesn’t know how long it lasts because it doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. He is kissing Even, so it doesn’t matter. But after a little while they slow down and their lips part again. Isak keeps his eyes closed and breathes, his hands still firmly around Even’s forearms, their foreheads still touching.

“Is this really what you want?” Even whispers and it sounds like a sigh of relief.

“Yes.”

“All this time?”

Isak opens his eyes and meets Even’s. He wants to say yes, because he thinks maybe it’s the truth, but he realizes there’s a limit to how much of himself he’s able to give away right now. So he shrugs and looks down at their feet, only inches apart now.

“I don’t know,” he says quietly, guiltily, because it’s not entirely true. “Maybe? Probably,” he continues and looks back up because apparently his limit expands a little with each passing second. “I did before. And I do now. So probably.”

Even’s thumb starts wandering gently across his cheek again and then he’s kissing Isak, again, and this time when he sighs, again, Isak knows it’s from relief.

“Me too.”

 

***

 

They stay like that for a while. Again, Isak doesn’t know or care how long because it’s nice. It’s everything. They kiss gently from time to time and  just stand there with their heads together for most of it. Even doesn’t let go of Isak’s face the entire time. 

Isak has loosened his grip around Even’s arms, but he doesn’t let go entirely. He caresses Even’s soft skin with his fingers and looks at his lips through heavy lidded eyes because he’s completely gone now. He jumped, landed here with both his feet, and there’s no way to undo that. Neither does he want to. 

But there’s a nagging feeling at the back of his mind, something he’s forgotten or repressed but that’s now starting to demand his attention again. It’s hard to place at first, but the image that suddenly pops up in his head isn’t. 

Shit. 

Isak removes Even’s hands abruptly, his eyes still fixed on his mouth. 

“Sonja.” 

He forgot about Even’s girlfriend.  

The fact that Even, or anyone else on the team for that matter, hasn’t mentioned her since he came back, doesn’t necessarily mean she’s out of the picture, does it? 

“What?” 

“Are you still with her?” 

Even though it should clarify a lot, Even still expresses nothing but confusion. 

“No? What? We broke up right after I graduated.” 

“Oh.” 

Fuck, okay. This good news, right? So why doesn’t it feel like it? 

Isak looks down at their feet. 

_ Me too _

Isak has admitted that he has wanted this all along. And Even has said ‘me too’.  

“Hey,” Even reaches for his hand and Isak lets him take it. He holds it gently in his own, like it’s precious. And Isak lets his eyes wander over to watch as Even threads their fingers together carefully, like he’s asking for permission at the same time. “I wouldn’t have kissed you just now if I was involved with someone else.” 

Isak’s eyes find Even’s again and it’s funny how nothing can feel wrong or out of place while their gazes are interlocked. 

“Or, I don’t know, maybe I would have,” Even then confesses with a slight smile before continuing more seriously, “but the point is I didn’t.” 

Isak doesn’t say that he couldn’t care less about that. He doesn’t say that what he hates and what he reacted to the most, was the fact that Even just indicated that this could have happened almost two years ago. Instead, Isak spent that time with an angry lump in his chest that never went away no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. 

“Are you saying... uhm.” It’s hard to ask without sounding all huffy, which he kind of is, but he doesn’t want Even to know that. “Do you think we-, or this could have happened then? Two years ago?” 

Isak isn’t sure what he wants the answer to be. On the one hand, he thinks it would be nice to know that his feelings were reciprocated after all, that he wasn’t alone in his pining, but at the same time it would feel like such a waste if they could have spent that time together instead. 

“I don’t know,” Even says and pulls Isak closer by their joint hands. He runs his free hand through Isak’s hair and tucks some of it behind his ear. It’s such an affectionate gesture that Isak has to close his eyes for a second to be able to focus on their conversation. “Is that important?” 

Is it? It feels pretty fucking important. But maybe it doesn’t have to be.  

“I mean, it’s happening now.” Even’s hand settles on Isak’s neck, his thumb on Isak’s cheek. Apparently, it’s a thing he does and Isak likes it. Then he leans in like he’s going to kiss him again, but stops himself half way there and pulls back, his face unsure all of a sudden. “Right?” 

For a moment, Isak is lost looking at Even’s lips, confused about why they’re not on his. But upon noticing Even’s expression he can’t help but let out a fond laugh at how cute he’s being. 

Even’s right, he decides then, it’s not important. So Isak takes another step towards him, leaving literally no space between them, and watches his face turn into the most beautiful smile as he tilts his chin up and connects their lips again. 

Isak knows he’s not going to let it go that easily. It’ll probably be a thorn in his side for a long time, and he’ll regret not trying harder to figure out where Even stood in all of it back then. But he also knows it’s not going to overshadow this. Them. Even. Kissing Even. He doesn’t see how it ever could. 

*** 

It started out innocently enough. Kissing each other all giddy from finally being on the same page. But it doesn’t take long for feelings like desire and want and need to make themselves known in both of them. 

There’s little doubt Even feels it too. Isak can tell from how Even’s hands tighten around his face and he pulls Isak impossibly closer as he starts walking them backwards until Isak’s ass bumps into the massage table. 

Next thing he knows he’s sitting on the table with Even’s hips between his legs. Even’s warm hands find their way underneath Isak’s sweater to the soft skin on his waist and goosebumps are spreading like wildfire across the rest of his body. 

It feels so surreal, almost like another one of his fantasies, and Isak closes his fist in Even’s hair to make sure it isn’t. Even responds by sliding his hands up Isak’s waist, past his lower ribs and onto his back. It makes Isak arch into him as he lets one hand continue past his scrunched-up sweater and into Isak’s hair to return the favor.  

Isak moans. 

This time it doesn’t embarrass him because Even does the same, and he lifts his arms as Even starts pulling his sweater all the way off. He grabs Even’s face as the fabric hits the floor to continue kissing him, and to make sure neither of them start thinking this is a bad idea all of a sudden. 

The last thing he wants is for Even to realize this is a mistake, so he deepens the kiss trying to keep him here, in this moment. He’s felt the light touch of Even’s tongue against his lips a couple of times already, and the next time it happens, he welcomes it with his own.  

It feels like it was all Even was waiting for because he breathes in sharply as their tongues brush against each other before he moves his hands to Isak’s lower back and grinds their hips together, making them both moan in sync this time. 

Isak realizes a moment after that Even still has his shirt on and grows desperate at the idea of their naked chests pressing against each other. He slides his hands underneath it at his sides, trying to be slow about it and not make it too obvious just how much he wants it. 

Even lifts his arms eagerly as Isak’s hands reach his chest and he rips the fabric off in one swift move. Isak is amazed by how easily Even lets him see his desire. Because it’s written all over his face at this point. It’s in the way he can’t take his eyes off Isak’s lips as they both come together again right after, hands pulling each other in at the waist and the back and the neck. And it’s in the way he grinds his hips against Isak’s and lets him feel just how much he wants this. 

Even’s chest is warm and it feels so good against his own, just like Isak thought it would. He wants nothing more than to continue undressing Even. Not slowly. But even though it’s pretty clear where this is going, he doesn’t want to assume anything. It’s not like he does this often enough to know what the protocol is for these things. And what if this is as far as Even wants to go? 

He pushes all these thoughts out of his head and decides to just see what happens. And right then, Even grabs his hips and nearly pulls him off the table so it’s more like he’s half leaning and half sitting on it. Then he grinds his hips against Isak’s again, letting him feel exactly how hard he is, and Isak moans into Even’s mouth as his hands drop to the waistband of Even’s jeans like they have a will of their own. 

At first he just lets them rest there, tightening his grip every now and then to pull at Even’s hips and add more pressure to their grinding. Then he starts teasing the skin and lets his fingers slip just under the edge a couple of times, right at Even’s hip bones. He can feel Even twitch a little and hears how he catches his breath every time he does it and it makes him smile in the middle of it all. It makes him feel brave enough to slip his finger behind the top button of his jeans and pop it open. 

But then Even decides to give as good as he gets and Isak’s smile drops as quickly as it came because Even doesn’t stop at the waistband. He loosens the string on Isak’s sweatpants and lets his hand slide right down to his dick. 

Isak gasps in surprise, and his dick goes from hard to rock-hard in an instant from the anticipation of what’s to come. But Even doesn’t take him in his hand immediately and Isak is mere seconds away from pushing up against it to make him. 

“Am I allowed?” Even asks against his lips and Isak replies by doing just what he had wanted to. He follows the movement of his hips up with a nod and a vocal confirmation right after to make it absolutely clear that he is. 

“You’re allowed.” 

When Even’s fist closes around him, he can feel his control slipping further. His body just reacts to Even’s touch. One of his hands goes up to Even’s neck and pulls him in closer against his lips. They’re both breathing harder and faster now and their kiss has gone from eager to desperate in just a few seconds. 

Then Even tightens his grip a little and starts moving his hand. Just these small strokes up and down, slowly, and Isak wishes like hell he was able to move his hips more in this position so he could move things along. 

Even stops kissing him and just watches Isak’s face as he pulls his foreskin all the way down with a firm grip. Isak’s jaw drops in a soundless moan and there’s nothing he can do but stare helplessly at Even’s lips as he brings his hand back up slowly, dragging the sensitive skin back over the head. Then Even puts his thumb against the head and starts rubbing it through Isak’s foreskin, doing these circular motions with it. 

His index finger joins in just under the head on the other side and Isak’s eyes widen as he catches his breath before they close as he leans his head back a little. He can feel Even lean in and start kissing his neck, and it just adds to all the other sensations running through him. 

“God, you’re so hot,” Even whispers against his skin, leaving a few more kisses there while his free hand buries itself in Isak’s hair. Then he pulls back, presumably to watch Isak’s reactions again. 

Isak can honestly say he’s never been this turned on in his entire life. His first massage with Even comes to mind at the thought, but he quickly acknowledges it was nothing compared to having his magical hand around his dick like this. And thinking back to that, to Even grinding him into the table, is not helping the situation at all. He’s not going to last. 

Even strokes him again then, all the way down, and Isak lets out another moan. Not so soundless this time. Then Even goes back to teasing the head like before.  

All Isak can do is just sit there and take it. The position he’s in doesn’t really allow him to move his hips in time with Even’s movements. Which might be a good thing, he realizes now, because he would probably be done already if he could.  

It hasn’t even been two minutes since Even has wrapped his hand around him, and coming right now would just be embarrassing. 

He needs something, anything to do, and Even is standing between his thighs, one button open on his jeans where Isak left off just a few minutes earlier. He remembers the tempting promise of his happy trail leading down below the edge and feels for it with his hand. Then he pulls at the next button, and the next. Trying to focus on anything other than his approaching orgasm. 

“Ev-,” he brings his head back up and is about to ask Even to stop, or at least do something less intense, when he feels the warm, soft skin of Even’s dick against his fingers as he’s going for the next button.  

A second passes before he realizes that it means Even isn’t wearing any underwear. That he hasn’t been wearing any the entire time they’ve been in this room together. 

“Fuck, Even-” 

Even chooses this exact moment to give him another stroke and it cuts Isak off. And then another, and it pushes any restraint Isak has been holding on to out of his head and makes him gasps as his hand moves to Even’s neck on its own accord and pulls him in for a kiss that ends up being him just breathing against Even’s mouth. 

Words start tumbling out of him that he has no control over what so ever, and he finds himself mumbling “don’t stop” and “keep going” and “yes, yes, oh god!” over and over again into Even’s mouth until there’s nothing but white noise and stars around him. 

And Even doesn’t stop, he keeps going, he tightens his grip as Isak starts coming between them, squeezing noises out of him that he knows he’ll be embarrassed by later. He breathes with him and kisses him and holds on to him through the waves that crash into him. Until all of Isak’s strength is gone and it’s a struggle for him to remain seated upright. 

Then Even lets go of his dick and steps all the way into him. It allows Isak’s head to find a place on his shoulder and Even holds him as he comes down from his high. 

It could be seconds, or it could be hours that they stay like that. Even gently caresses Isak’s back and plays softly with the hair on the back of his neck. He leaves little kisses where his neck meets his shoulder. 

But eventually Isak is able to move again. And he starts by sliding his hands up Even’s waist slowly. Then he lifts his head a little to kiss the side of Even’s neck, and then his jaw, and then his cheek, and then his mouth. He does it lightly, a couple of times at first, just these small pecks with short pauses in between so they can look at each other and bask in the moment. 

“Good?” Even asks teasingly between kisses and Isak immediately makes the next kiss dirty by licking into Even’s open mouth. By biting at his lower lip. By making him grind his hips against Isak’s again and moan. 

“Fuck you,” Isak mumbles as his teeth let go.  

Even’s hands are cupping Isak’s face now, and he looks wrecked. His lips are red and puffy, his hair is a complete mess and he doesn’t stop staring at Isak’s mouth.  

“Why the fuck aren’t you wearing any underwear?” Isak asks quietly as he lets his hand travel down to Even’s happy trail again. 

Even’s face and smile is teasing as Isak runs his fingers through the hair visible through his open jeans. And Isak simply can’t have that. It’s his turn to tease now. So he pops open the last button, making sure his fingers keep brushing against Even’s dick as he does. And he watches as Even’s smile gives way to his blatant desire again. 

“You know that’s cheating, right?” Isak whispers hotly against Even’s mouth and then slips his tongue inside again, freeing his dick at the same time and giving it a gentle stroke. 

Even gasps against his lips and grips his upper arm firmly to steady himself. His dick, having softened a little during their timeless cuddle session, is now fully hard again and Isak regrets having to let go of it as he stands up from the table and starts walking them the few steps towards the wall behind Even.

 

There’s come on Isak’s stomach and on his pants, and on Even’s hand, but Isak couldn’t care less as he presses his whole body against Even’s and kisses him like there’s no tomorrow. He’s torn between wanting to continue teasing and making Even come just as fast. 

The last one wins as he sinks to his knees, letting his hand slide down Even’s come-covered arm and trapping it against the wall behind him by the wrist. He’ll save that for later. 

Even’s breathing quickens as Isak gets closer and closer to his target and he drops his head against the wall while Isak slides his pants further down his legs. 

“I need them all the way off,” Isak whispers between leaving open mouthed kisses around Even’s hip bones. Even steps out of his jeans in less than three seconds and Isak laughs a little at his eagerness. He looks up at him for a second and finds Even completely lost in watching him. The intensity of his stare captures him and it’s hard to look away, so he doesn’t. 

“Spread your legs more.” 

 

And Even does. 

Then Isak leans forward, still maintaining eye contact, and puts his tongue against the tip of Even’s dick to taste him. He slides it further back on his tongue until the head is completely inside his mouth. But he doesn’t close it around him. He slides his tip back and forth on his tongue like that a few times before he gives him what he so desperately wants by now. 

“Oh fuck,” Even moans and closes his eyes as Isak finally takes him fully inside and hollows his cheeks around him. His hand comes up to Isak’s neck and Isak can feel him holding back from pushing against the back of his head. Instead, he makes a fist in Isak’s hair, pulling slightly. And God, Isak loves that. 

He revels in the noises coming out of Even’s mouth as he bobs his head back and forth, using his free hand to work the parts of Even’s dick that doesn’t fit into his mouth. Isak knows he’s good at this. He loves giving blowjobs in general, but this here is some next level shit. He’s already chubbing up again in his pants. 

Even’s free hand is altering between running through Isak’s hair and cupping his face. Isak can hear him catch his breath and curse again as he presses his thumb against Isak’s cheek. Isak knows what that feels like. Feeling your own dick through someone else’s skin. But he’s not sure Even does. He opens his eyes to see how Even reacts to it and finds him staring right back at him, mesmerized and panting.  

He lets go of Even’s wrist and slides his hand down to Even’s. It’s still wet from Isak coming all over it earlier and he makes even more of a mess of it now by rubbing their hands together, intertwining their fingers. 

Then he lets go and slowly moves his hand to Even’s stomach. He puts two fingers against Even’s skin underneath his bellybutton and rubs them in a circle through the come left there when they were pressed against each other before. He tries to be obvious about where he’s going with this so that Even can object to it if he doesn’t want him to. 

But as Isak slides his fingers further down, past his own face and Even’s dick, Even only spreads his legs wider to make more room for him. 

Isak keeps their eyes interlocked as he moves his fingers past Even’s balls and slides them in between his cheeks. Even looks like he’s ready to combust at any second and his breathing grows faster and heavier for every inch Isak gets closer to his rim.

 

Even wets his lips hastily between breaths and breaks eye contact, letting his head fall back against the wall again as Isak starts rubbing him gently with both fingers. His hand makes a fist in Isak’s hair again, like he’s preparing for the intensity and needs something to hold on to.   
  
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” The word comes out with every exhale Even does as Isak applies just a little bit of pressure to his hole, and Isak knows he’s going to come the second he breaches him.   
  
“Isak, oh fuck!” Even pulls at his hair firmly and Isak takes it as a warning to stop sucking his dick if he doesn’t want him to come in his mouth. But Isak wants him to. So he tightens his grip around him and pushes the tip of his index finger inside.   
  
The sounds coming out of Even’s mouth as he comes are among the hottest things Isak has ever heard and he finds himself wishing he’d get to hear them every day for the rest of his life.   
  
He keeps his mouth around Even’s dick, focusing hard on swallowing every last drop as his orgasm ripples through him.    
  
When he starts slowing down, Isak carefully removes his finger from inside of him and releases the pressure around his dick before letting go entirely.    
  


Isak rests his head on Even’s hip for a few seconds. His dick is almost fully hard again now, mostly just from the sounds Even was making, but he doesn’t feel the need to get off again, so he just sits there for a bit, trying to catch his breath.

 

He can hear Even do the same thing as his breathing gradually slows down.

  
Standing up slowly, Isak grabs the towel he was lying on from the massage table behind him and wipes his hand and stomach quickly before handing it to Even. He notices the pain in his thigh again then, completely forgotten in the heat of passion, and his knees are sore from sitting on the floor. But it melts away compared to what he feels looking at Even now. Barely able to stand and looking back at him through heavy lidded eyes like it’s hard to even keep them open.    
  
Even’s still panting a little as he finishes with the towel. He reaches out and pulls Isak in close by his hands, leaning in so their foreheads are touching when he’s close enough. His hands continue upward along Isak’s arms until they’re around his face.   
  
“Holy fuck,” he whispers before kissing Isak softly, intently, one, two, three times and then pulling back to breathe again. “I just violated so many ethical guidelines for this job.”   
  


It takes Isak a second to process what Even has said. His mind is still occupied by the kiss and his eyes are on Even’s lips. But it gets through to him when he sees the huge smile spreading on Even’s face. 

“Yeah?” He teases and leans in for another kiss. “Which ones?” 

Even leans his head back against the wall again and laughs a little. 

“Honestly, I never really read through all of them, but I’m assuming ‘don’t have sex with players’ is in there somewhere.” 

“Along with ‘don’t have sex in your office’, probably,” Isak adds and they both laugh a little at that. 

They end up smiling at each other for a bit as the laughter dies down and then Even pulls him in for another kiss, longer this time, more fervently. When they part, he lets both his hands slide down and intertwines them with Isak’s.  

Isak can tell he’s about to ask something, but he seems nervous about it for some reason, his gaze shifting between their hands and Isak’s eyes. 

“So, what-, um, do you have any plans later?” 

Isak grins because Even suddenly being all shy and nervous after what they just did is adorable as fuck. 

“What?” Even chuckles, clearly relieved. 

“Nothing.” Isak laughs a little before composing himself, still looking at Even fondly. “No, I don’t have any plans.” 

Isak knows he could make this so much easier for Even by offering that they do something together, but he’s enjoying watching him struggle with it too much.  

And Even clearly realizes what he’s doing because just nods, trying not to smile too widely. It’s not very successful.

 

“Okay, um.”   
  
It’s so obvious how Even feels like he took the first step here, made his intentions clear, and that Isak should take the next one. So when he just stands there, waiting and smiling like a doof, Even struggles even more. Isak is starting to think the red in his cheeks isn’t just from his orgasm a few minutes ago, and it’s so fucking cute he could die. Plus, the butterflies in his stomach are loving it.   
  
“So, do you-” 

 

Isak just kisses him then, he can’t wait any longer. It’s not that long, and Even being kind of startled by it also makes it not that soft, but it’s still good.    
  
“Yes, I wanna do something later,” he says against his lips, even though he thinks the kiss was probably enough of an answer in itself.   
  
Even makes a sound of relief and smiles widely again, lifting their hands and playing with them a little.   
  
“What are we going to do then?”   
  
Isak brings their joint hands to his face and smells them before making a face.   
  
“Shower?”   
  
They laugh.   
  
“Okay, then what?”   
  
Isak shrugs.   
  
“I wanna do stuff with you.”   
  
They kiss again. Longer and softer than last time.   
  
“Okay,” Even says then, “shower first, then we’ll do stuff.”


End file.
